im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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