her vagine was all disorganized.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
