Me. At least after what I've been through.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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