i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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