he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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