And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I pour the whiskey from now on
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
