Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
