"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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