Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
