so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She bit a glass in half.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
