i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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