if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
