if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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