its not stalking. its research.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
