I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize