You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I FOUND THE LEGS
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
