im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize