Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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