You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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