I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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