I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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