kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
