ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
