The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
