You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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