You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
