The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This baby is an asshole
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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