pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
