I hate all girls vehemently.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
