I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
