Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
