I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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