dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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