if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
