Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
