I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
