i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
