imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ladies don't puke and tell
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize