I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
