Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
