Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
