I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize