with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
