Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
