That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
