i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Text me some of your sweat
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
