Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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