Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've blown a few things in my day
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
True strength comes from lack of pants
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
