if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
