was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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