I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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