apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
