I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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