exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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