Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
