I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize