hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
