you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
