i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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