Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
