Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
