Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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