Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
