Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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