Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
